11. March 2009
"Philosophy" Ben Folds Five...over and over and blasting.
The winter is willing itself to become spring. We agree very strongly on this subject, winter and I. The sun has hid her rays for too long, even if the snowy months this year were shorter than usual.
Things change. They never revert to how they once were, but continue building upon themselves to become something different, something more than before. As was said in Gospel Doctrine last month, on my birthday in fact:
"We are not here to go from point A to point B; we are here to become."
I did something really brave last night. I don't think that I had procrastinated it either. I waited until the Spirit told me to go for it and was surprised how the words flowed. You might think you know what I'm talking about, but I assure you, you're thinking of something else--hasn't happened yet. But it's coming quickly. I'm feeling it again.
No, last night was a letter. I typed it and sent it off, just like that. I didn't hold anything back and I wasn't timid. Turns out the feelings are mutual. They have been for a while now. I'm curious, but not in an unhealthy way. I'm just ready to understand. Completely. All the way. 100%. Understand.
Remember my sixteen year-old self? The girl who ran at the sight of a situation where she might have to expose anything she truly felt deep down? Look what she's become. A woman of confidence, a woman of understanding, a woman of spirit. She has found the ones who really love her without pretending. The ones who can be trusted.
Soaring. Free. Able.
I have re-discovered direction. I am exactly where I need to be. There's no need to rush. Nature will take its course. But I'm ready to become more.
I love that this is my last entry in this journal. I have a new one ready to go and have been dying to dive in. I will start anew; no, not really. I will just continue, but with newfound hope. I will explore new aspects of myself and of others. I will not be afraid to share, to feel, to cry, to laugh. I won't hold back for fear. After all, I have already come so far. Just look at me go.
I'm becoming remember? It doesn't just happen overnight.
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No Day Without A Line
- Claire
- United States
- I am guarded by snowy-wise mountains. They are my constants in a world so constantly spinning.
7 comments:
I am sooo proud of you Claire. And I hope I know what the other thing that is coming is. And I hope it comes soon. I love you soo much Claire Sorensen
This blew me away. Seriously. You are such an exceptional writer, my dear.
I can't wait to be with you.
YES. you are. and you are a WOMAN!
You have an amazing way with words. Seriously it's so refreshing
Claire, you say so much, in such "Claire fashion", without telling us everything...always leaves me wanting more. I love the symbolism of the changing seasons, and transitioning from a full to an empty journal. The part about your 16 year-old self brought tears to my eyes, because I remember. Look at you now! Keep writing!! And keep becoming...
Amen. Regularly, I have to remind myself of this process of becoming, because I already want to BE right now. Thanks for this post and the reminder of how much I change from year to year becoming a better, stronger woman.
What's his name?
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