Plagiarism, ism, ism.

"capture the oddities of your mind

...
we live in a realm of second and third thoughts, thought on thought, twice and three times removed from the direct connection of the

first
fresh
flash
...
don't stop writing,
don't stop at the tears;
go through to the truth.
This is the discipline."

--Natalie Goldberg

************

"Let the thrill go--let it die away--go on through that period of death into the quieter interest and happiness that follow--and you will find you are living in a world of
new thrills
all the time."

"Has oneself anything lovable about it?
You love it simply because it is yourself.
God intends us to love all selves in the same way and for the same reasons, but He has given us the sum ready worked out in our own case to show us how it works.
We have then to go on and apply the rule to all other selves."
--Clive Staples Lewis

************
"In your patience possess ye your souls."

--Luke 21:19

************

October 1, 2006
Sacred Grove, Palmyra, New York
I have never experienced a deeper feeling of peace than is present right at this moment in my heart. No sound of the outside world, nor thought of anything other than the wonder of the Gospel and glory of the Spirit can enter my mind. Joseph Smith lived and died for the sake of the Church; so that people like me could enjoy the happiness and joy that comes from having the Spirit of the Lord with you. There is no greater feeling than when the Spirit calms you to this feeling of ultimate peace.
At 17 years old, I can hardly imagine experiencing
something as remarkable as Joseph's vision at 14. What a tremendous calling he had.
He is truly a hero in my mind.
The sounds of nature drift through the trees: geese calling, birds chirping, and the heavy breeze fluttering the leaves and branches.
Families, couples, and individuals walk slowly along the path in front of me, soaking in the wonder of this place. It looks just the way I imagined it would: tall trees, a dirt path, leaves littering the damp ground.
But the feeling was unexpected.
I wish I could feel peace like this all the time. I hope everyone can someday experience the joy I feel at this time. I love my Heavenly Father for giving me the chance to grow up with the knowledge of the Gospel. I pray that I will be an instrument in His hands to bring this euphoria to others in the world."What happened here changed the world...let it change your life."

************

Hello. I am sitting on the couch surrounded by the words of people I admire, words that are helping me escape my own. I'm not sure of my meaning, but there it is. I am feeling blah.
Blah blah blah.
I am not sure of much these days.
The rain drizzling, Billy singing of Vienna, my girls spreading coconut onto chocolate. I am through with work for two solid days. I breathe Seattle air in six days. I am sure of these things.
All I want to do is drown myself in words, but only those of others. I felt like I would be forcing, faking if I wrote tonight.
It's feeling good though. {backspace}
I am discontent with my contentment. I suppose then, that my contentment is not really contentment at all.
I am urging it to become so.
I fake it a lot.
Why must I?
Fake it, I mean.
I'm trying--really I am--to understand.
But I still don't.
I still can't.