Princess-Stairwell Vernacular.

-What you be doin?
+I be readin in the lib, writin in mah journ, the uzhe. You?
-I'm on FB, but my comp's bein slow.
+Lame! You finished wit yo pape?
-Nope. When you be peacin?
+Soon, soon. I gotsta clean!
-I be goin now! I LUH YOU!
+I'll be seein you lates! BFFLs!

The more time I spend studying for Exam #4 Language History, Change, & Variation, the more my mind wanders to google chat and text message records. I find connection.
This stuff is real!
The dialogue my friends and I share is in fact a mutually intelligible form of language that differs in a systematic way from standard language. I would venture that the girls with the Christmas tree in their window interact with a unique dialect, a dialect with its own features of grammar and vocabulary and pronunciation. In fact, you might as well call our front door an isogloss, the boundary of linguistic differences, as it separates our vernacular from that of the outside world.
Now you might ask yourself: do these silly girls always speak in such a way?
The answer is: Negative.
This original Princess-Stairwell (P-S) dialect is known as a register, or situational dialect, appropriate only in certain situations. Of the five linguistic registers (static, formal, consultative, casual, and intimate), the P-S dialect is mostly casual, only to be used when in the company of certain individuals (i.e. Brooke, Katie, Kaylie, Kendra, Claire). Those females fluent in this vernacular show excellent signs of speech accommodation, as they are well able to modify their speech style toward the perceived style of the person they are speaking with. In fact, these girls find it easy to discern between the various idiolects of their friends, or in other words, can recognize the identity of a person solely by the characteristics of their speech. This is much like watching Mulan and recognizing Eddie Murphy's as the voice of Mushu. You don't have to see the person's face to identify them from their way of speaking.
P-S combines old standard words to make new meanings, and often introduces entirely new words (slang). Though separate from pure jargon, many P-S phrases are used to communicate special meanings amongst the small group, and have been known to keep others away solely because of misunderstanding. Such is the cost of clever diction.
This dialect is most saturated with euphemisms to avoid taboo words--examples include: Gay, Brewski, eff, etc. Most euphemistic terms, with some exceptions, are used in reference to members of the male gender.
In the broad scheme of language families, the P-S dialect can be traced through Germanic tongues to the Indo-European language from which all languages descend. A study identifying common cognates between P-S and Standard English led to this conclusion of Germanic ancestry.


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I do believe I know this material backwards and forwards.
Thank you, Blogger.
Bring it on, Testing Center.
I be finished wit you in a week!